Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Looking For Love in All The Wrong Places?

A friend recently posted the following comment on a message board:

"I believe that pure love is nothing more than appreciating someone and wanting for them what they want for themselves. As such it - always - feels good and benefits both parties. However, just as we rarely taste pure sugar, but instead get cake, lollipops, ice cream etc, we rarely feel pure love and instead usually end up adding other "flavours" to the sweetness, usually in the form of our own desires. This shouldn’t be a problem, but it means we run the risk of not giving love, but trading it - "I'll love you, but you damn well better give me some love in return". This is usually how it is with sexual love. Then all sorts of "business" considerations start coming in, complicating and often ruining things."
The best thing that ever happened to me was also the worst thing that ever happened to me, depending on your point of view.

The best thing that ever happened was when I first merged in with the Light of being and realised I was the Light. This happened during meditation. It seemed to happen spontaneously. It was and is peace beyond imagination; it is indescribable love. I stayed in that state for hours. When I came out of it I was totally depressed. As time went on, I continued to experience this love but it was always back to the same old, same old.

So when I got into relationships, naturally, I was looking for this kind of all-embracing love. I didn't know how to love that way let alone expect someone to love me that way, but it is what I was expecting because I have experienced that love. Instead I ended up with the kind of sexual love my friend describes above.

To cut a long story short, while I haven't experienced true love in any relationships, I now know there is a way one can continuously experience giving and receiving love: by accepting that love is all around us and that it takes many forms. While it's wonderful to be in intimate relationships, there are infinite ways one can experience love. For me, there is the love I have for writing and sharing my experiences, love for life, love from friends and family, love from Internet friends, love from new friends and strangers, and love from animals and nature, to name but a few. Love is everywhere.

While I was pondering these ideas, I was on a bus. A young man sat beside me and asked me whether the bus was going to Tottenham Court Road. I said it was. We got chatting about Christmas lights in shop windows and we admired the lights on Oxford Street. We also had a laugh about how some shops have special offers of "buy one and get one free." I said if the shop can afford to give stuff away, it must mean that their goods are worth next to nothing anyway and they should be giving everything away for free. My new friend* and I chatted about life and ideas of spirituality.

When we said goodbye I smiled to myself. We had both been given the opportunity to express love as friendship.

It's so easy to expect love to come from a certain way or from a certain someone. When I stop expecting love in a particular way and I am open to love's many forms, life is magical. Every moment is another opportunity to experience the ever present love, whether I am giving or receiving.

Love is in the air
Everywhere I look around
Love is in the air
Every sight and every sound

And I don't know if I'm being foolish
Don't know if I'm being wise
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when I look in your eyes

Love is in the air
In the whisper of the trees
Love is in the air
In the thunder of the sea

And I don't know if I'm just dreaming
Don't know if I feel sane
But it's something that I must believe in
And it's there when you call out my name

Love is in the air
Love is in the air
Oh oh oh
Oh oh oh Love is in the air
Love to all,

ps: To D, if you're reading this. Just to let you know it was lovely chatting to you the other day. And you get all the credit. ;-)