Saturday, December 31, 2005

There are No Rules!

I have a passion for the field of human potential. I have studied many different models of reality, some of which I have listed as links on my blog under "For the Curious Mind." While I have found these models useful, I consider them to be maps only. I find personal experience more important than following a teaching; I prefer to trust in my own truth. Last night, I had an experience which revealed I was still attached to a particular model.

I was watching a show on television called The Magic of Jesus ( see also Channel 4's Magic Christmas), where two magicians were trying to duplicate the miracles of Jesus, as portrayed in the Bible.

Some of the magicians' "tricks" included turning water into wine, and walking on water. In another trick they got a nurse to scan a woman to confirm she wasn't pregnant. Then the magicians made her look 5 months pregnant. The nurse scanned the woman and the machine revealed that, not only was the woman about 5 months pregnant, she was also "expecting" a boy. The magicians also got five thousand people together in a stadium and multiplied enough loaves to feed all of them.

At first, I wasn't bothered at all. I had no axe to grind as I am not Christian nor do I follow any religion. Then I had a thought that one can do magic tricks but without love, it is all nothing. Hang on a minute, where did that come from? If people want to use magic for entertainment, who is to say it is not love in action? Who am I to impose my idea of love on others? There are no rules as far as love is concerned, or maybe that's my rule.

Over the last year, I have started several blogs for different themes. A blog is a computer programme. The blog has no opinions, makes no rules, passes no judgments, and imposes no limits. It is simply there to serve a function: sharing of information. Whatever I choose to write about makes no difference to the blog.

In the same way, a discussion forum is simply a programme created for the purpose of sharing information. It is the administrator of that forum that makes up rules about what should be discussed. The computer programme doesn't care what is being discussed.

What if the magicians are indeed tapping into the same source of power that the biblical Jesus had? This suggests that the power is impersonal and it is humans that impose rules on how that power should be used. Someone who can tap into a power that can create realities instantly can choose to use it for his own personal use, to entertain, to heal, to enrich lives, or to control others. The Power is impersonal and makes no judgment.

The "powers that be" would like us to dismiss what the magicians are doing as tricks, illusion or whatever because they don't want us finding out that we can all tap into an infinite power to meet our needs. Society, as we know it, would fall apart. So, we have "teachers" in our midst feeding us with misinformation that will distract us from seeking this power. While we are busy debating the many theories and beliefs about life and the universe, the minority who know how to access this power continue to be in control. That's the game "the powers that be" would like us to play.

The TV programme made me re-evaluate what God means for me. God is the nothingness, the void, that is without beliefs, rules, concepts and dogma. The void is infinite power and infinite possibility. This power is freely available to all.

Thank you Channel 4 for an excellent programme.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Of Channels

"I can so fill you that you become fully God-conscious, a powerhouse for Love and Light to be generated and radiated out into the world. Wonders are awaiting to be revealed through channels." (God Spoke to Me, Eileen Caddy, pp 15-16)

"Allow My cloak of peace and stillness to fall around you and envelop you completely. In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. I can work through you when you are in this state of consciousness no matter what you are doing." (God Spoke to Me, Eileen Caddy, p. 16)

"Let me work My wonders within you. Stand aside and let Me take over. When you let the little self in and allow it to stand in the way, I can do nothing but wait until you, of your own free will, choose to remove it and let Me take over." (God Spoke to Me, Eileen Caddy, p. 26)
Last night as I lay down to sleep, I felt this immense Peace like a cloud hovering at first then it felt like I was been embraced. This Peace is very tangible indeed. While in this Peace I suddenly had a coughing fit. How is this possible? I coughed for a few seconds. The coughing appeared to make me lose sense of the Presence around me. My nose was bunged up and my throat felt sore.

I called out to the Presence. Again, I felt myself being embraced by this Peace and lost all sense of self. I fell asleep.

I had a dream where I saw the brightest light I'd ever seen. It was so bright I couldn't look at it. A voice told me to look at it and that I was that Light. I did and I was instantly at one with the Light.

When I woke up this morning I was completely free of the cold symptoms.

God is the only Power, the only Love, the only Life and the only Wisdom. Yet it sometimes feels as if there is another power. The fact that I had a coughing fit would suggest that there is another power. This is simply not true. There is no Power but God; anything else is a nothing trying to be something.

When you are unaware of God's presence, you are using beliefs to create realities; or to protect from or defend yourself against other beliefs. You are using denial to erase beliefs. I have tried those methods. I have used denied colds and flus as unreal or not of God. I have had cold symptoms and have stayed in silence, and the symptoms have disappeared. As long as you are joined with the collective consciousness of humanity that is filled with conflicting beliefs, there is always something or the other to fight against.

God is beyond all beliefs. The Presence, the Peace that I experience as a "cloud" is Perfection that is unaffected by beliefs. It is unchanging and always present. This Presence is seeking channels to express through. My role is to simply surrender to the Presence and be filled up with His Presence.

God is all there is.

With love,

Related articles: The Living God; Making Something Out of Nothing
Thursday, December 29, 2005

Forever in a Moment; When Things Fall Apart

Earlier today in the library, I came across a book I studied for O'Level Literature when I was in Sierra Leone. The book is called Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. It is about the impact missionaries had on a Nigerian village and its local customs and traditions. We get to see this transformation through the eyes of the protagonist, Okonkwo.

As far as I could remember, it took a whole year to study that book. At the time, I found it a difficult book to follow; it was filled with symbolisms.

Today I read it in one hour and could not only understand it, I could see the multi-layered meanings imbedded in the text.

What changed? Is the me that I am now that different from who I was at fifteen or sixteen? Do I understand more now because I know more?

I believe the education system suppresses one's innate intelligence that is beyond book knowledge and human understanding. When I was going through the system, it seemed natural for things to take time in order for me to assimilate the information in the book. Besides, we were also studying other books at the same time. And I wasn't exactly passionate about English Literature either; I only studied it because I had to. My favourite books at the time were romantic fiction but they were not on the syllabus, unfortunately.

I was curious to read Things Fall Apart from the space of being. The place of being is a state where "things fall apart"; being free of structures, formlessness.

So I don't think understanding has anything to do with me knowing more now, it's because I am being my real Self that is Intelligence.

It was effortless reading. I loved it.

Understanding is instant; it is only one's perception that makes understanding seem to take forever.

With love,
Wednesday, December 28, 2005

The Game of Receiving

The other day I watched an episode of the The Simpsons. Madge is about to give Homer her Christmas present. Homer tells Madge his gift to her is outside. He runs out and thinks out loud that he's forgotten to buy Madge a present. Homer races to the local shops to buy something but the store is completely empty. All the other shops are closed Eventually, Homer returns home.

With her eyes filled with love, Madge hands Homer her present. As Homer opens it she tells him that she knew he was going to forget to buy her a present. So she took it upon herself to buy Homer's gift to her. Homer opens the gift and finds it in more wrapping paper. Homer offers the wrapped gift to Madge and tells her it is from him. Madge opens the gift. Inside is a framed picture of Madge and Homer.

This a complicated way to get a gift, isn't it? Not to Madge. Madge knows that Homer love for her is a precious gift in itself, but she wants to experience the feeling of receiving a Christmas present from her beloved husband. Madge also knows the only way she's going to get a gift from her airhead husband is to get it herself. Madge is therefore playing the game of receiving.

What if God is playing a game of receiving? God already has everything, right? There's nothing that God needs. God can only give. For God to experience receiving He has to create a game of receiving. God thinks up a perfect way: he creates infinite forms, vessels that can receive what He has to give. Man is one such vessel.

The game of receiving works perfectly when man plays his role as receiver. When man realises that there is only God, he realises that he is God-man. God-man can now only give because it is his nature to give. God-man now has difficulty receiving. In order for God-man to receive, he has to play a game of receiving, otherwise he will never be able to experience what it feels like to receive. God-man has to see himself as the vessel that he was created to be, to receive all that God is.

I've noticed that after an hour or so of watching television, my eyes start to hurt. My eyes go blurry and I find it difficult reading words on the screen. I used to just dismiss it and let it go. Yesterday, I had a thought that when I see things, it's as if they are coming from me. Why not pretend I am receiving the experience instead? This is exactly what I did. I imagined the programme I was watching as a beam of light flowing to me and filling me up. My eyes stopped hurting and I was able to enjoy the programme. At the end of the movie I found I could read the credits in small prints, which I couldn't do before.

The human experience is a game that God has devised to give to Himself. We are all vessels created to receive. That's all we need to do - receive.

In truth, God is all there is and God is all that I am being. In order to experience the joy of receiving, I see every experience as Divine Light pouring into me. I see all the desires of my heart as Light pouring into me, filling me and overflowing. And so it is.

Life is a game of receiving. It is good to receive all that God is.

With love,
Tuesday, December 27, 2005

It is Impossible for Anyone to Be Lost!

I’m on a bus waiting at a bus stop. I can see my next bus arriving. By the time I arrive at the next bus stop it's too late, I've missed my bus! I'm going to have to wait forever for the next one. This is just great!

OK, I know there is only the One Self present in all. Hey, how come You didn’t synchronise our times perfectly? How come I missed my bus? I know: I'm meant to witness or experience something here and now.

I notice a woman sitting at the bus stop. Other buses arrive but she doesn't get on any of them. More buses arrive, none of them mine. The woman is still sitting there. I wonder if she's waiting for my bus. Then she turns to another passenger and asks what bus goes to a particular route. The passenger tells her she's at the wrong bus stop; she needs to walk to the next stop and catch her bus from there.

As the woman walks away my bus arrives.

As I walk home later I ponder over what I've just witnessed. I've been shown that on the one hand, we can appear lost be it losing one's way, not knowing what to do, or whatever "problems" we have. On the other hand, we are never lost because everywhere we are the One is already there. Thus, though the woman seemed to have been lost, she was never lost. Right where she was was the solution to her "problem." And her apparent "loss" turned out to be excellent material for me. It's a win-win for all.

How can anyone ever be lost when God, the All There Is and solution to every problem, is everywhere present? All we have to do is ask.

There is nothing lost in God.

With love,

To Believe is to Agree With

While I was still half drowsy on Boxing Day morning, I heard my mother saying there was snow outside. I didn't believe her at first.

"It's true," she said, "it looks about 3 inches thick."

She went on and on until I finally believed her. That's all I need. I'm not into snow; I think snow looks good in movies and on Christmas cards, but not in my reality. So I prayed for the snow to melt ASAP. I decided I wasn't going out in the snow then I went back to sleep. When I finally woke up I looked outside to check the situation and saw there wasn't any snow.

"I thought you said it had been snowing?" I said.
"Did you believe me?" mum burst out laughing. "I was only pulling your leg."
"How could you?" I said. "Now, I've wasted my prayer."

Secretly I was pleased there wasn't any snow.

This morning, mum looked out of the window and said it was snowing again.

"Yeah, yeah, in your imagination," I said.
"It really is snowing."
"Yeah, whatever!"

While she was in the bath I opened the window blinds and looked out to see it was snowing heavily. Oh my, it is really snowing! I told mum it was snowing but she wouldn't believe me.

"I'm not joking, mum, it is snowing heavily."
"I don't believe you!"
"You're like the warped version of the boy who cried wolf," I said. "Now that it's really snowing, you won't believe me."

I opened the bathroom window for her to see the snow but she told me to shut it as it was too cold; she still wouldn't believe me. When she finished having a bath she looked outside and was amazed to see it was really snowing.

"It's all your fault saying it was snowing yesterday," I said.
"But I was only joking."
"Yes, but I so believed you that I prayed the snow would melt," I said. "Now, we are going to witness my prayer in manifestation."

The snow stopped and the sun came out. By the time I went out to run an errand for my mother, it was already melting.

Thoughts and ideas are as real as the forms we experience with our senses. In order for an idea to be made manifest from the invisible to the visible, you have to be in agreement with the invisible idea. In other words, you have to act as if it is true. In this case, I'd so believed my mother's version of reality, I had acted accordingly and prayed for the snow to melt. So it wasn't surprising that the actual event took place in form.

The interesting thing is I pay no attention to weather forecasts because I don't believe them. I tend to wear my heavy coat no matter what they say.

How far can you take beliefs? Let's say you are sick and been to your doctor. After you've tried various medications and had no results, your doctor tells you that he can do nothing else for you. Do you agree with him? If you do, you might as well kiss your life, as you know it now, goodbye. If you don't agree with him, you are open to try other measures.

Do you accept the media's version of reality? Do you agree with their truth? If you do, you conform to their truth. If you don't agree with the media, you are open to other ways of seeing the world.

You can apply this idea to politics, science, religion, nutrition, society, spiritual ideas etc.

I believe Love is all there is and because I agree with that belief, it is a yardstick I use to experience life. (see Making Love)

Be careful what you believe is true, it might happen whether it is a joke or not.

With love,

Making Love

As a child, I was warned about avoiding strangers and not accepting lifts from strangers. This is true when you believe in the reality of good and evil. But when you realise that Love is all there is, there is nothing to fear.

Earlier today I went to catch my local bus but I saw I'd just missed it. I decided to walk to the next bus stop. As I was standing by the traffic light waiting to cross the road, a man in his car waved at me. He stopped his car, presumably wanting to speak to me, so when I crossed the road I walked over to him. He asked me if I wanted a lift. I said yes and I got into his car.

He asked me if I'd had a nice Christmas and I said yes. He asked me if I was married and where I lived. I told him I lived locally and I wasn't married.

"What about you, are you married?" I said.

"No, I am a playboy who drives around picking up young ladies," he said. Then he burst out laughing. "I'm married; we are all married."

"Are you happily married?"

"Yes," he sighed.

He asked me my name. I said Enocia.

"What's that in proper English?" he smiled.

"Enocia, like in Enoch."

He told me his name. We shook hands. He said my hand was cold and rubbed it hard to get it warm.

"Well, isn't this lovely?" I said. "I believe Love is all there is and there you go giving me a lift."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I do."

"Can I make love to you then?"

"No, I don't love you in that way."

"I know what you mean," he laughed.  "You love me as a person, right?"

"Yes, I do."

"I love you too," he said.

I asked him to drop me at a bus stop so I could catch my other bus. I thanked him and wished him the very best. He told me he loved me. We blew each other kisses goodbye and I walked away.

Making love is not always about exchanging bodily fluids, it is about sharing a moment of Love with a friend. There are so many opportunities to make love; so many ways Love is appearing. In this case Love was appearing as a "middle-aged white guy" offering me a lift, who also happened to be a wonderful companion.

I love making love, don't you?


Related poems: As High as a Kite; Cherished Memories
Saturday, December 24, 2005

What is Time?

"For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night." (Psalm 90: 4)
Time is what we believe it is. Here are few examples to illustrate what I mean.

The other day I said to my mother that it's funny how the characters in the animated cartoon, The Simpsons, are always the same. It's been going on since 1989, yet the characters are stuck in the one long year. Bart is permanently at age 8 or 9; Lisa is still in the same class; Maggie is still a baby sucking on her dummy; Madge has still got her blue hair; and Homer is always being stupid Homer. The other characters in Springfield are also unchanging. You could say that the Simpsons' year is as long as the writers continue to produce stories; the producers agree to make the series; and the audience continue to watch them.

In the sci-fi series, Doctor Who, the Doctor travels in his tardis to different times and places in the galaxy. He is accompanied by his assistant, Rose. In one episode called Aliens of London, Rose and the Doctor return to Earth only to discover that they've been gone for a whole year. In Rose's mind they'd only been gone for a few days. Her boyfriend, Mickey, wasn't amused. While Mickey had known where Rose was, he couldn't tell Rose's mother or the police that Rose had gone in a tardis. He had even been suspected of murdering Rose.

I read the following in Science and Health.

"The error of thinking that we are growing old, and the benefits of destroying that illusion, are illustrated in a sketch from the history of an English woman, published in the London medical magazine called The Lancet.

"Disappointed in love in her early years, she became insane and lost all account of time. Believing that she was still living in the same hour which parted her from her lover, taking no note of years, she stood daily before the window watching for her lover's coming. In this mental state she remained young. Having no consciousness of time, she literally grew no older. Some American travellers saw her when she was seventy-four, and supposed her to be a young woman. She had no care-lined face, no wrinkles nor gray hair, but youth sat gently on cheek and brow. Asked to guess her age, those unacquainted with her history conjectured that she must be under twenty." Science and Health, p. 245: 1-15)
Five years ago I went through what I consider to be heartbreak. I was so depressed, I wanted to die. Maybe, I did die. From that moment on, something changed within me. I feel as if I have been stuck in that moment. In my mind, every day is the same one day.

A while back I met an old friend whom I hadn't seen in over ten years. She called my name but then she thought she was mistaken. She said the woman she knew should have aged by now. I called out her name and told her I was the same person.

Time is a belief that many people can share and experience.

In truth, there is only the one moment that lasts forever.

With love,

ps: Here's the lyrics to a song I've just heard on the radio, which I happen to love. It is about how one can get stuck in time.


"Never Had A Dream Come True"

Everybody's got something they had to leave behind
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it could be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you

Somewhere in my memory
I've lost all sense of time
and tomorrow can never be cos yesterday is all that fills my mind
There's no use looking back or wondering
How it should be now or might have been
Oh this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be

You'll always be the dream that fills my head
Yes you will, say you will, you know you will
Oh baby, you'll always be the one I know I'll never forget
There's no use looking back or wondering
Because love is a strange and funny thing
No matter how I try and try I just can't say goodbye
No no no no

I've never had a dream come true
Till the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say (words to say)
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be
A part of me will always be with you Source

Love is All There Is

On the one hand, I have ideas of what God means for me, while at the same I know that God is beyond ideas. Still, ideas are fun representations of what is.

Here are a few ideas I have of God:


Divine Energy

I Am




Sometimes I find different ideas seeking expression. Insights and experiences on this blog, for instance, are various ideas in manifestation.

But are these ideas different. Is Love different from Freedom? I believe the ideas are one and the same, Love.

Love is all there is and then some.

For me, Light represents Love. The Light I'm referring to has no darkness. So when I imagine this Light, it is another way of acknowledging that all is Love.

God is Love.
Love is all there is.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Living in the Moment

So my bus arrives at the stop. It's only going part of my journey and it is packed full. I'm going to wait for the next one.

People are pushing one another trying to get on the bus, as if it's the only bus available. I can see another bus approaching; it’s seconds away, and it's going where I want to go. Yet people are too busy fighting to get on the packed bus.

I'm left standing with another passenger. He points out to me that another bus is right behind. "It looks empty too," he says.

"I know," I say. "I can't believe those passengers couldn't see the bus behind."

The bus arrives and I find myself a seat.

If that's what it's like living in the moment, I'd rather pass, thank you.

With love,

Related article: Are You Living in a Blinkered or Open Now?

A Christmas Message - Cold Turkey

"And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." (John 1: 14)
In the UK it is traditional for people to exchange gifts, and to stuff yourself silly with turkey and stuff on Christmas Day. (I prefer chicken myself). There is usually left-over turkey that you can have as turkey salad, turkey sandwich, turkey pies, turkey surprise or treat your pets to turkey.

Christmas Day is also the day Christians celebrate the birth of Christ. While I am not Christian I still believe in the Christ idea, which I consider to be an idea of God in manifestation. What do I mean by "idea"? An idea is an impression or image I have of infinite intelligence, perfection, love and power. I call this idea God or The One. I know this is an idea only and that God is beyond ideas and concepts, but it is a workable idea that gives my life meaning.

I believe that once you have the idea of perfection in mind you have to live as the idea, or let the idea live as you. How? By going cold turkey. What do I mean by this?

When a drug addict, for instance, stops taking drugs without replacing his addiction with another, he is going cold turkey. The idea is the drug addict is surrendering to the state of "no drugs." Similarly, if I am going to let the idea of perfection come to life, I have to let go of all addictions and surrender to my idea of God. What do I mean by addictions? People tend to think one can get addicted to drugs, cigarettes, foods, and alcohol. I am referring to beliefs that make me identify myself as flesh and blood human. I let go of my addiction to human beliefs and surrender to the idea that God is all there is.

Another reason why I believe going cold turkey is very important is because it is an opportunity to trust in what I believe to be true: that the idea of a thing is the thing itself. Let's say I have an idea that "I am Spirit and Spirit cannot be sick." The idea exists and is made manifest of its own accord. But when I try to figure out how this idea works in a human way, I am not trusting in the idea. Put another way, I am trusting in the idea of "trying to figure things out in a human way" and this idea is made manifest in form.

I remember when I had the flu and I went cold turkey. Because I was practising energy healing, I had already stopped taking tablets. This time, I was inspired to do nothing; just let perfection be made manifest. I could feel myself split in two: there was the me that was in complete bliss; and there was another part of me that was going crazy. I was dying to apply the many healing techniques I had collected over the years. I surrendered to the idea of perfection and I was healed.

Once I knew I could go cold turkey with the flu, I was able to go cold turkey next time I was sick, even when I had a migraine. Eventually, I learned not to react to an experience. Even last night I woke up with a sore throat and blocked nose. I went back to sleep. I woke up again and it had completely cleared up.

I have found that it is easy to have an idea but it takes a lot of practice for that idea to be "made flesh." For instance, I stopped wearing a watch over two years ago; but I had a watch in my bag just in case. The easiest part was taking off the watch, but it took me months to break the habit of looking at my wrist. When the battery ran out, I decided not to replace it. This was when I got to test the idea of the One as omniscience. If I needed to be at a place at a certain time, I would put out the intent and I always get there on time. Besides, in London there are clocks everywhere so it's no big deal.

I could write a list as long as my arm about how I've gone cold turkey in various aspects of my life, but I'm not going to. It is Christmas, the season to be jolly.

Let me reiterate that ideas of God are simply that - ideas. I believe that for an idea to be made manifest, I have to go cold turkey. Cold turkey is not to everyone's taste unfortunately; excuse the pun. (grin).

Here's a wonderful idea from Dorothy Rieke which is worth putting to the test:

"Because God is all there is, there is absolutely nothing to be concerned about."Wonderful Things are Happening
All the very best.

With love,

Related articles: The Living God; My Alarm Clock; Resist Not Evil
Thursday, December 22, 2005

Yoo Hoo! Is Anybody Home?

Someone is ringing your door bell. You can choose to answer the door or ignore it.

The one ringing the bell might interpret your lack of response as no one at home. If he's a Jehovah's Witness, he might think he's being deliberately ignored. Hehehe. Either way, there is no entry for him.

Each of us has a door or consciousness. One could regard all experiences such as thoughts, emotions, behaviour as seeking some kind of attention.

Who gets to decide what is let in or not?

Source, Divine Love, the All There Is lets in what is appropriate for the individual consciousness. The visitor can always knock on another door/consciousness that is most receptive or appropriate.

"Knock, knock!"
"Who’s there?"
"You, who?"
"Yoo hoo! Can I come in?"
"Sorry, I’m not available for you right now. You could always try next door."

"Knock, knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Doctor Who?"
"New series starting very soon."

"Knock, knock!"
"Oh, give it a rest!"



The Personal and Impersonal Nature of God

I now live by the underlying principle: "God is all there is." This means in every moment there is nothing but the One that is Infinite Love, Intelligence, and Perfection.

As the One Intelligence expressing in all, God is impersonal. Thus, God wants everyone to enjoy all goodness and happiness. On the other hand, God is also very personal in that He will only express what each of us prefers. For instance, the Intelligence knows that I don't much care for avocados so there is no point manifesting them in my reality. I have nothing personal against avocados, it's just my preference; though I don't mind them as guacamole.

I believe it is the same One who has given us, and continues to give us, our personal preferences or "quirks", as my friend calls them, which makes each of us unique. Therefore, the One appears to each of us as different types of thoughts in response to our various needs.

Last night when I was walking home, it started to rain. I have a preference to walk in dry weather but I couldn't be bothered to open my umbrella. I thought to myself: "God is all there is; God is dry weather." The rain stopped and it was dry all the way home.

This morning I was off to the library. Their computers have been down for several days so I wondered whether I should go into town to an Internet shop. As I approached the bus stop I saw the bus was just leaving. The bus driver turned the bus round. Instead of driving away he stood there waiting then he opened the doors for me to get on. I interpreted this as the Impersonal Intelligence answering my question, so I took the bus into town.

My next bus was packed full with people, presumably, heading off to do their Christmas shopping. A man was standing above me and blasting music on his mobile phone. As much as I enjoy music, sometimes I would rather not hear loud music so close; that's what head phones are for. The man was oblivious and dancing and singing away. I thought again that "God is All There Is." I felt profound peace where I had no thoughts. It no longer mattered whether there was music or silence. After a while the man put on his head phones and continued to sway to his music.

While God is all there is, He expresses through each of us as personal. If that wasn't the case we would all act in identical ways.

With love,

Related article: The Biggest Mail Merge Ever; The Impersonal is Personal is Impersonal

After You!

So a bus arrives at the stop. There are three of us waiting to get on. I motion for the woman on my left to get on before me, but she motions me to get on. I beckon the guy on my right to get on but he beckons me to get on before him. For crying out loud someone has to make the first move. So I get on the bus.

I wonder what our interaction was like from the driver's perspective.

Passenger 1: "After you."

Passenger 2: "No, no, after you."

Passenger 1: "I insist, after you."

Passenger 1 to passenger 3: "After you."

Passenger 3: "No, after you."

Driver drumming his fingers impatiently thinks to himself: "Is anyone going to get on this effing bus or what?"


Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Living God

For quite a while now I have been straddling two realities: there is the reality where I am observing the world in silence. I find that I cannot judge when I have no thoughts. As for the second, the best way to describe it is through a couple of experiences.

The other day I was in bookshop and I had a thought that "God is all there is," and bam, I lost all sense of my body; I didn't know where the body started or where the books on the shelves ended. I felt huge and soft at the same time. It was like I was everywhere.

Last night I had difficulty getting to sleep. I could feel aches and pains all over. I thought "God is all there is" and again, I lost all sense of myself as having a body. I already know that I am Spirit but this is different. I felt, what I can only describe as, a "cloud" descend on me; or it could have been I was raised into the "cloud." I call it a "cloud" because it feels very tangible, a presence that I consider to be the Living God. I felt like I was being embraced in this "cloud" and was ever so blissful.

While I feel peace, blissful even, in silence, this peace is far more superior. This peace is alive. Paul describes this peace as "the peace of God, which passeth all understanding." (Philippians 4: 7).

I didn't need to sleep. I just lay there enjoying the "cloud's" embrace.

And another thing, though I felt myself at one with the Presence, I was able to think without losing any awareness of being at one with the Presence.

For me, the Living God proves that none of my spiritual practices and understanding make one iota of difference; I can be caught in the "cloud" while I am in silence or thinking to my heart's content. All I have to do is acknowledge Its Presence. It only takes a minute or two and the Presence takes over.

When you can feel the Living God as a tangible presence everywhere, there is no need to worry about a thing.

I will share more of my experiences of the "cloud" as they unfold.

With love,
Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Yesterday, I received an email from a friend who reads my blog in response to a recent post where I have listed requirements I expect my my life partner to have. He wrote:

"But then I couldn't understand why ur life partner should be lot of fun, shld always have a lovely smile and should be atleast 6''feet tall. I had a bigger list than urs, but then now I feel, its possible to love anybody in any form that they are in. Take any man, let him be tall or short, let him be intelligent or let him be dull headed, let him be quick and witty or let him be slow and stupid, let him be superstitious or let him be questioning every little thing in life. If for a moment, we can drop our judgements and opinions, our likes and dislikes, suddenly we will start feeling that, we don;t exist anymore. It would become so simple to become the other, take their shape of mind, start liking all that they like, start disliking all that they dislike, we would start seeing the world in their view point. The moment this happens, its so easy to be in love with that person. So I think its easy to love anybody and its easy to live with anybody under the same roof for any number of years."
My response was:

"I note your comments about my ideal partner and I appreciate where you're coming from. You are saying I'm putting conditions on my partner. I would also say you're putting conditions on what kind of man I should want in my life. As friends people can be anything, but as my partner, I have a preference. Similarly, I can eat all types of food with no thought of what's in them I have foods I prefer to eat. So I prefer a man that is tall, fun, likes to play and realises that life is a game. I prefer men I feel attraction for and that's the way it is. It's my choice and I'm being true to myself. Of course, I expect him to be Real i.e. he should know that he is Spirit Man and not fall under the illusion of sickness, aging and death.

"I don't have to search for him I just know he does exist. If he didn't I wouldn't have had the thought in the first place. If you can think it, it exists."
I wonder what would happen if I wrote a list of foods I would love to experience or the types of clothes I would love to wear. I doubt if anyone would bat an eyelid. But when it comes to being very specific about relationships there is a judgment. I shouldn't have a choice because I am Divine Love who loves all equally, therefore, I shouldn't have special relationships. Says who? Who makes up the rules about how I should be?

That's the problem with expectations of spirituality. One can build up an idea of what it means to be spiritual or how one should be.

I want to make it clear right now that while I acknowledge there is only One in all, I am also very much aware that I am here to experience life as me. An intimate relationship is one way of expressing who I am, with a man that meets with my personal tastes; and that includes being tall, slim, clean-shaven and attractive. And yes, I prefer having relationships with men. I also expect my partner to be real; for my definition of "real" see Yo-Yos and Drama Queens.

I have written elsewhere that my personal experiences are based on my understanding of the One. I do not expect anyone to take my experiences as gospel truth. Let me reiterate that I am not a spiritual teacher or guru. If readers find my experiences useful, that's good; but we must all find out what works for ourselves.

Earlier today I received an email from another friend who also reads my blog. He wrote:

"When did you got enlightenment I mean date of the enlightenment!"
My response to him was:

"I don't do dates, there is no time.

"I have always been Self; as are you, always Self."
What is enlightenment anyway? I get insights all the time about ways of being and I experience and write about them. I have an idea of what God/Self means for me. All I know is that God is everywhere present yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever; and I live with this belief. I have no idea whether this constitutes enlightenment, not do I care about enlightenment.

I want to thank both of my friends for giving me this opportunity to be true to myself.

All the very best to all.

With love,

Related articles: Maps; Follow Me; Preconceived Ideas of Spirituality; Be True to Yourself

Song of The Day

The song, He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother by the Hollies has just popped into my head. I'll post the lyrics below.

For me, this song represents the One Self that we all share.

Lots of love,


The road is long
with a many a winding turns
that leads us to who knows where,
who knows where.
But I'm strong,
strong enough to carry him.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

So on we go.
His welfare is of my concern.
No burden is he to bear,
we'll get there.
For I know
he would not encumber me.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

If I'm laden at all,
I'm laden with sadness
that everyone's heart
isn't filled with the gladness
of love for one another.

It's a long, long road
from which there is no return.
While we're on the way to there,
why not share?
And the load
doesn't weigh me down at all.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

He's my brother.
He ain't heavy, he's my brother...


V is for a vest
You might wear
When it gets chilly;
Or just for the hell of it.
I don't wear vests myself;
But I know a vest
Is one word that starts
With the letter V.

Hope no one is vexed by this nonsense verse.


Yo-Yos and Drama Queens

"Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions." (Ecclesiastes 7: 29)

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." Mark Twain

Don't people love to create dramas in their lives? Instead of focusing on what is real, they prefer to focus on drama.

OK, what is real?

I believe we all want to feel appreciated and accepted for who we are; we all want to be fulfilled in our lives; we all want to be happy. What we are all seeking is to experience love by giving and receiving love in the many forms love takes. For me, being real is being the real Me that is Love eternal.

The Real Me is what I call Self. We all share this one Self. This means that whenever I think of "myself", it is the one Self I speak of.

I am the one Self now, but when I don't see myself for who I am, when I identify myself as an ego, I'm bound to see the world as being against me. I'm bound to live life as a yo-yo, one minute I'm happy, the next I'm miserable. And that will be the life experiences I will attract.

How can the world be against me when I share the same Self with the world?

I've been given freewill to choose between being a drama queen or being real.

The choice is easy: all is One; life is constant bliss and joy.

I am not a yo-yo, I am Self.

Just keeping it Real,
Monday, December 19, 2005


It is said that our DNAs contain our genetic and biological heritage.

I believe our DNAs contain a programme called Greatness.

We are all equally great and destined for greatness for all time.

DNA = Do Not Adjust; Do Not Alter.

Do not change who you are; just accept your gift of Greatness.

We are all Great.

With love,

The Great Enocia


I haven't got a topic that starts with the letter U so I thought I'd create one.


Umbrellas are useful objects.
They come in many colours,
And different shapes and sizes.
You can hide behind them,
Protect yourself under them
Or even leave them behind.

Umbrellas are useful objects,
They come in very handy
When you wish to write
About a topic that
Starts with the letter U.

I know you're thinking
This poem
Is a tad shady.
You know something,
U r probably right.


Staying Awake to My Real Self

"For, behold, I create new heavens and a new earth: and the former shall not be remembered, nor come into mind." (Isaiah 65: 17)
I believe "seeing is believing" in reverse; I know, see and feel that my real self is Spirit where all things are possible. I know that I, as Spirit, am always the same. I know that I, as Spirit, am immortal. I know that I, as Spirit, am perfection. I know that I, as Spirit, am infinity.

How come this Self is not fully manifested?

Actually, Spirit is fully manifested here and now; Spirit occupies all space, therefore Spirit is all there is. This means that what I consider to be human is actually Spirit in flesh. There is only the Self/Spirit. I am either Spirit or I am dreaming I am a personality.

What do you mean by "dreaming I am a personality"?

When I identify myself as a form or a label, I am seeing myself as a personality, a part that is separated from the whole.

How do you stop dreaming?

By realising that I am Spirit; and Spirit is All There Is.

For instance I know that Spirit Man is Love and Love never hurts. When I am dreaming I am a personality, I may act out of fear. The moment I wake up to who I am, I don't go round feeling guilty. Why should I feel guilty over a dream? I know that my real Self is always innocent and pure; She is Love.

In the same respect, only when I am dreaming myself as a personality that is separate from the whole can I see myself, or another, as an antagonist, oppressor, perpetrator or victim. But when I wake up to myself as Self, where there is only the One, there is no duality.

Is waking up to your real Self a process?

No, waking up to my real identity happens in an instant. However, as I've got into the habit of identifying myself as a personality, I've formed the habit of being asleep. Staying awake to my real Self might take the following pattern:

sleep, wake up, sleep, wake up, stay awake, stay awake, sleep, wake up, stay awake, stay awake, stay awake, doze, wake up, doze, stay awake, stay awake, stay awake, drowsy, stay awake, stay awake...until you have developed the habit where you are always awake.

Do I get to keep my memories when I wake up to who I am or are they all wiped out?

Spirit is always innocent and has never suffered any pain, injury or lack. I know that Spirit has been the only One having my experiences, therefore, I have never hurt anyone nor has anyone hurt me. Because I know that Spirit is the only presence, all memories not in accordance with Spirit have either been erased as if they never happened or have been transmuted into Spirit. I get to keep those memories that are of Spirit.

What if I am not experiencing the truth of Spirit in form?

There is only Spirit in form. If I am not experiencing this truth, I am simply dreaming I am not experiencing the truth of Spirit in form.

I am awake.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Soul Mates

Last night I watched the film, Good Will Hunting on television. I have seen it before but I thought it would be fun to watch it again.

Will Hunting, played by Matt Damon, is a janitor at MIT university, but secretly he is a mathematical genius. The film is about how Will copes with his talent, and his relationships with his family, friends, girl friend and psychotherapist.

There were two scenes that caught my attention, which I want to write about here. In one scene, Will is having a row with his girlfriend, Skylar, whom he met at MIT. Will can't cope with Skylar's love. His mentality is: how can anyone love me when I've been through hell?

You don't want to hear that I got cigarettes put out on me when I was a little kid. That this isn't surgery.

Will lifts his shirt, revealing a six inch SCAR on his torso.

WILL (cont'd)
You don't want to hear that. Don't tell me you want to hear that shit!!

Yes I do. Did you ever think that maybe I could help you? That maybe that's the point, that we're a team?

What, you want to come in here and save me? Is that what you want to do? Do I have a sign that says "save me" on my back?

I don't want to "save" you. I just want to be with you. I love you. I love you!

Will, full of self-loathing, raises his hand to strike her.

Don't bullshit me! Don't fuckin' bullshit me!

(standing up to him)
You know what I want to hear? I want to hear that you don't love me. If you tell me that, then I'll leave you alone. I won't ask any questions and I won't be in your life.

A beat. Will looks Skylar dead in the eye. Lowers his hand.

I don't love you.
Good Will Hunting
In another scene, Will is having a discussion with his therapist, Sean, played by Robin Williams.

Do you have a soul-mate?

Define that.

Someone who challenges you in every way. Who takes you places, opens things up for you. A soul-mate.


Sean waits.

WILL (cont'd)
Shakespeare, Neitzche, Frost, O'Connor, Chaucer, Pope, Kant--

They're all dead.

Not to me, they're not.

But you can't give back to them, Will.

Not without a heater and some serious smelling salts, no...

That's what I'm saying, Will. You'll never have that kind of relationship in a world where you're afraid to take the first step because all you're seeing are the negative things that might happen ten miles down the road.
Good Will Hunting
Is there such a thing as a soul-mate? And does a soul-mate challenge you?

I believe in only one Soul, that which is the creative intelligence in all that is always expressing through all. Each of us is the Soul. The Soul doesn't challenge anyone? There is nothing to challenge the Soul either. Why would the Soul be challenged when it is invulnerable? Soul has everything He needs to express life. Challenges are at the human personality level.

One living at the human personality level finds the Soul to be a challenge because the personality doesn't understand the Soul's nature of giving without conditions or expectations. The personality cannot accept that he can be loved just because...and will put obstacles in the way to prevent himself receiving that love. Like Will, the personality has to remind you of what an awful person he is and that he doesn't deserve love. The Soul doesn't do history and behaviour, He loves because it is His nature to love.

Like Will, I was in therapy briefly to deal with sexual abuse. One day I woke up to the truth that I was neither a victim nor a survivor. At that moment I stopped therapy. Realising you don't need therapy is one thing, but what if you have to face the "perpetrator" again? I had been avoiding speaking to my cousin whom I thought had hurt me for years. One day he telephoned and I had a long conversation with him. I realised I felt nothing but love for him.

Another time, my mother's friend came to visit. This woman's son had also "abused" me as a child. At that time I used to practise energy healing. The woman asked me for healing. At first I felt reluctance, then I pushed through the reluctance and I gave the woman healing. Did I feel as if I was healing myself? No, actually I felt nothing but love for the woman.

In both examples I realised that I was expressing myself as Soul. I felt no hurt or pain because Soul has never gone through hurt, pain or suffering. Soul is invulnerable. Soul can only love. Healing energy is just another way of expressing love.

Suffering occurs only at the personality level, NEVER at the Soul. Soul was never born. Soul has never been hurt. Soul has never died. Soul does not go through reincarnations.

The personality believes life is a struggle and you have to learn lessons every step of the way. The Soul already is everything, why would She need to learn anything?
The personality believes that life is a process of expansion through life experiences. The Soul is already perfect and whole and needs nothing to make it more perfect. The Soul is not a result of experiences; He is despite one's experiences.

In truth, there is no personality; there is only the Soul. The personality is simply a shift in perspective. When you are coming from a place of love, giving without expectations, and pure infinite being, you are being the Soul. When you see the world as competitive, a struggle, fearful, or you see yourself as this or that, you are acting out; you are a personality.

If the Soul was never born, how come we appear to go through human birth? At the level of the senses, of course we do go through birth, but what is being born is the Soul being expressed through a human form, just like the one Soul is expressed through a tree, a work of art, a building, new planets etc. In this respect there is always a new birth and ending on the one hand. On the other hand, the Soul is always the same Soul expressing through infinite ideas.

Back to the subject in hand. What is a soul-mate? The purpose of life is to realise that there is only the Soul and to live as Soul. Soul's nature is self-expression, not to add to Self, but to express Self. A soul-mate is, therefore, any opportunity that enables the Soul to express or be self. This means that soul-mates come in all shapes and sizes: humanoids, animals, nature, buildings, art, planets, stars, universes, anything and everything.

Let's say all 6 billion people here on earth were living as the Soul, would that make them all act the same? The One Soul is blissful in nature on the one hand; on the other hand, the one Soul has unlimited ways of expression. This is what makes us all unique.

Soul knows that "the only way is up." In other words, you can't avoid being the Soul forever. If not now, there will always be another now. The Soul never imposes His idea of being on another. If one is not open to be a soul mate, Soul accepts the situation as it is. In the film, Skylar withdraws from Will's life though she continues to love him from afar. After Will has sorted his head out, he goes in search of Skylar.

As I see it, we all have infinite soul mates. There are some soul mates we associate with on a daily basis and others we don't. My closest soul mates right now are my mother, the Internet, my blogs, buses and people I meet on my travels.

All my love to all my soul mates.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Two Little Boys

While I was browsing at the Internet cafe, I looked up and saw that I had chosen terminal number 69. Then a song by Rolf Harris called "Two Little Boys" popped in my head.

I note the song was recorded in 1969. How bizzarre! Maybe, there is a message the Universe wants me to hear.

Anyway, following is some background information of the song and the lyrics.

With love,

Two Little Boys

In 1969, during a tour of Arnhem Land with his wife and daughter, Rolf briefly stayed with a man called Ted Egan. Ted sung him this song, which Rolf recorded on tape. When he got back to England and talked his television producer into using the song, Rolf discovered he had lost the tape! Rolf rang Ted, twelve thousand miles away in Canberra, and got him to sing the song over the phone. Alan Braden arranged the song for the TV show, and the audience reaction was so marvellous that Rolf decided to record it. This song was top of the hit parade for seven weeks over Christmas 1969.


(Morse - Madden arr. Braden) H. Darewski Music / EMI / Redwood Music (P) 1969
Cond. Alan Braden - Produced by Mickey Clarke

Two little boys had two little toys
Each had a wooden horse
Gaily they played each summer's day
Warriors both of course
One little chap then had a mishap
Broke off his horse's head
Wept for his toy then cried with joy
As his young playmate said

Did you think I would leave you crying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Jack and don't be crying
I can go just as fast with two
When we grow up we'll both be soldiers
And our horses will not be toys
And I wonder if we'll remember
When we were two little boys

Long years had passed, war came so fast
Bravely they marched away
Cannon roared loud, and in the mad crowd
Wounded and dying lay
Up goes a shout, a horse dashes out
Out from the ranks so blue
Gallops away to where Joe lay
Then came a voice he knew

Did you think I would leave you dying
When there's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon be flying
I can go just as fast with two
Did you say Joe I'm all a-tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys

Do you think I would leave you dying
There's room on my horse for two
Climb up here Joe, we'll soon by flying
Back to the ranks so blue
Can you feel Joe I'm all a tremble
Perhaps it's the battle's noise
But I think it's that I remember
When we were two little boys Two Little Boys

Nothing But the Best

I met these women on the bus this morning who were very excited to be exploring London. They were going shopping in Covent Garden and then going to see the play, Billy Elliot, later this evening. They asked how to get to Covent Garden and a fellow passenger and I gave advice as to which stop to get off at.

I asked one lady where they were from and she said Hull. I told her I knew the bridge at Hull. I said I used to have a boyfriend who lived in Brigg, in North Lincolnshire.

"Yes, Brigg is only 15 minutes by car from where I live," she said. "I went to Brigg last week."

We talked briefly about that part of the UK and soon it was time to get off. We wished the ladies a happy visit and fun trip to the theatre.

I want everyone to have the best life has to offer, whether it's in love, career, travel, and life in general. Everyone deserves to be happy and have a life filled with joy.

When I want the best for others I am recognising that life is infinite abundance; there is a superabundance of love for everyone to enjoy.

Wishing you all nothing but the best.

With love,
Friday, December 16, 2005


My friend sent me the following joke by email. Love it.

Thanks, L.

EJ ;-)

After a long night of making love, he notices a photo of another man on her nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he nervously asks.

"No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend, then?" he continues.

"No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear.

"Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured

"No, no, no!!!" she answers.

"Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands.

"That's me before the surgery."

Inner Silence

My friend, Ben, produced the following fractal which represents Inner Silence. I see it as the Silence being in stillness and in forms.



Related poem: Inner Silence

Are You Normal?

My earliest memory is seeing myself sitting on a potty looking down a flight of stairs. Good scenery. I don't remember much about when I was a baby. I can't imagine I spent time pondering on life and the universe. I don't think I thought about anything otherwise I would have remembered.

Then I started thinking or was conditioned into the belief that thinking is the done thing. I became a formative thinker though I tried not to clog up my system; not that I am capable of clogging up my brain as I don't know much.

I've gone as far as I can go on thinking; now I don't think much. In fact, I don't think. When I speak, I don't think about what I am going to say, words just come out of the silence. I don't have to think about what I write, ideas just pop out; and the ideas are always complete. For instance I can look at something and know exactly why I am looking at the thing and how that thought-form relates to who I am. Otherwise, I tend to stay in silence.

Now here's the thing. I believe Man is an idea of Perfection but it is our thoughts that make us dense; then we get stuck in the world of forms. Put another way, thoughts are what keeps me in form; they make me heavy and earthy. When I am not thinking, I become light, like the idea I inherently am. I know that I'm going to get lighter and lighter and will eventually become invisible to the senses, as ideas are.

Last night at a bus stop, this woman came up to me and prodded my back. "Are you normal?" she said. She seemed very angry. I dived into the waiting bus, even though it wasn't the one I wanted.

Hmmm! I wonder if the woman was seeing right through me? Maybe, she thought I was a walking dead. Hehehe. Isn't that ironic?

Well, I am having fun being in the silence.

And just for the record, I am very normal; whatever that is.

Love always,

Manifesting by the Balloon Technique

In last night's dream someone showed me how to manifest my intentions. I was told to see all intentions and desires as existing as balloons in the sky. All I had to do was reach out and pull the string of the balloon I wish to manifest in form.

So I decided to try it out. I thought of chocolate and imagined myself pulling a balloon towards me. I had no thought of how I would receive the chocolate.

I found myself in a shop with lots of chocolates in front of me. The shopkeeper instructed a boy working with him to give me a bar of chocolate for free. The first chocolate had a hole in the wrapper so I refused it. The next chocolate also had a hole and I refused it. Then the shopkeeper told the boy to let me choose one. The one I picked was perfect and tasted yummy.

Well, I'm going to try this balloon technique. If you do try it and get results, please let me know.

With love,

My Life Partner

Last night I discussed my ideal life partner with my mother. She said she couldn't imagine me going out with a "worldly" man in his thirties because he'll look way too old for me. I agreed with my mother.

I expect my life partner to meet the following requirements.

He is a lot of fun.
He is eternal youth.
He has a cracking sense of humour.
He loves to play.
He loves who he is.
He is full of life.
He has a lovely smile.
He is real.

Naturally, I have to find him physically attractive. He is clean-shaven and at least 6' tall. I love tall men. (smile)

I know he does exist.

Can't wait to meet you in person.

All my love,

New Year's Resolution and Perfection

My mother told me today that her new year's resolution is to lose weight. She said she has a specific target and with God's help she intends to be that weight. I suggested that instead of planning to go on another diet, she could pray to manifest her perfect body that already exists in Mind now. It's her choice of course.

I don't believe in diets; to go on a diet or to watch what you eat is based on the belief that one needs to add or take away from what you are. You are worried about additives or preservatives in food. You're counting calories. You are doing exercises to achieve your ideal physique. These are all smokescreens; beliefs that have no foundation in truth.

We've got so used to the counterfeit image of man as apposed to real Man. Real Man does not age; real Man does not have to worry about what He eats or drinks; real Man does not have to worry about getting sick or dying; real Man is Perfection. Real Man is who I am and She represents eternal youth, beauty, perfection and abundant life. And nothing can be added to or taken away from Perfection.

I am, therefore, not going to interfere with Perfection by going on fad diets, or using creams to make me look younger etc. While I do eat and use creams, I do so with the understanding that nothing I eat makes any difference to my real body; nor does food make me feel more or less healthy. No cream I use can make any difference to the beauty that I innately am. I certainly am not going to do any exercises to make my body firmer. I don't need to do anything.

As for my body, it's stayed the same weight - 8 stone (112 pounds) - for the last five years, which is ideal for my frame and height (5'6). I also maintain a youthful appearance; I look years younger than my human years.

While I haven't as yet attained physical perfection in every way, I know the perfect idea already exists in Mind and is manifesting perfectly.

I don't make resolutions. I'm only interested in experiencing the real Me that is always perfect.

All the very best.


Related article: Do Food Supplements and Diets Work?
Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Death Penalty

With the recent debate over the death penalty of Stanley "Tookey" Williams in America, I am now re-posting an article I wrote a while ago in my other blog called Law and Grace.

With love,


Monday, November 08, 2004

Law and Grace

"For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ." (John 1: 17)
How does forgiveness work? Can you forgive yourself, someone else or a situation, when you are living by the law? Is this not a contradiction in terms?

It is written in the scriptures that Paul was instrumental in disseminating Christianity. In Romans chapter 7, Paul gives his interpretation of the law as was given by Moses. Our modern laws are derived from the laws of Moses, the do's and don'ts of society. Let's look at what Paul has to say about the law.

"For I was alive without the law once: but when the commandment came, sin revived, and I died. " (Romans 7: 9)
"For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me. " (Romans 7: 19:-21)
"I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin." (Romans 7: 25)
In this chapter, Paul is discussing two laws: one that is carnal (of mortals); and one that is spiritual. He is saying that sin came about because of the law of Moses. What does he mean by this?

Let's take the legal system as an example. We are led to believe that we need the law to have order in society. Has the human idea of justice brought about peace? Do me a favour! On the contrary, the law instills fear. I have noticed that in bus and train stations in London, there are intermittent announcements reminding people to look after their belongings and that the stations are under 24 hour surveillance. In the eyes of the law, they are trying to protect customers from crime. If you are trying to protect someone, it means you are living in fear of crime. Indeed, you are expecting crime. The legal system would not exist if they didn't believe that man is inherently evil. This is what Paul means by "I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me." (Romans 7: 21)

Say someone has committed a crime. While the law states that you are innocent until proven guilty, there is no real opportunity for the "criminal" to be given a second chance. What if the person recognises the "error" of his ways? What if he is seeking forgiveness? Society doesn't allow for that. What usually happens is you still have to go through the legal system and the case is brought to court. As far as society is concerned, if you do the crime you have to serve the time.

I believe Paul is saying the very law that was created to instill order in society has augmented the very sin it was trying to protect us from. The moment you see a sign in a public place that warns you thieves are around, the sign is also suggesting you and others are thieves. I use libraries frequently and the safety signs are always around. There is a particular library where the security guard makes hourly reminders for people to be vigilant. I have never been in a library that attracts more "crime." If you take the signs and announcements to heart, you shouldn't be surprised when you experience crime. That's the law for you; it is impersonal. In other words, if you live by the law you will die by the law. The only way to stop living by the law is by grace.

Paul writes:

"There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8: 1-2)
Before I discuss what I understand by Grace, let me first of all address the statement in the scriptures: "For the law was given by Moses, but grace and truth came by Jesus Christ." (John 1: 17) In my opinion, this statement is not true. How can it be true when the law and grace pre-dates Moses and Jesus? Before Moses there was still fear. You only have to study other religions that predate Judaism to discover that each religion has their version of the law. Moses simply introduced a law that was relevant for his day. The same is true for truth and grace. The personality in the scriptures called Jesus knew his nature as truth and grace. He did not bring about or create truth and grace. There have been many others, who have experienced life knowing their nature is truth and grace.

What is Grace? Grace is a way of experiencing one's nature that knows only love. This love doesn't judge anyone. Love doesn't care whether you've committed, in human standard, a heinous crime. When you repent, change your mind about what you've done, Grace can remove all evidence of "error", if you are open to it. What do I mean by "changing your mind?" I mean realising that your behaviour is not who you are, that you were only acting according to the beliefs you had. Changing your mind is realising your true identity and trusting your nature to help you make a new choice according to what you believe to be true.

Trial by jury is the human version of justice. Actually, Grace knows nothing of justice or forgiveness for that matter as no one has ever erred under the law of Grace. Grace, therefore, has no part in the legal system. If you are seeking Grace, don't expect it from the law. Mortals don't do Grace. Their long-term memories will not allow it.

In Joseph Murphy's book "Amazing Laws of Cosmic Mind," he discusses a man who had murdered someone and was in death row. During the time when the man was waiting to be executed, he prayed for forgiveness and forgave himself. He had invoked the law of Grace. When it came for him to be executed, they couldn't hang him. They tried several times but the mechanism wouldn't work. They had to set him free. Grace had set him free.

Earlier this year I absent-mindedly walked out of a library with a library book in my bag. The alarm went off, but someone in front held the barrier open so I could walk through. The librarians looked up but none of them called me back, which they usually do when the alarm goes off. Usually, the alarm will lock the barrier but in my case someone let me walk through. I realised later on I had a library book in my bag. I returned it the next day back on the shelf.

The law of Grace, Spirit, takes no account of what is going on in the laws of man. Grace is the equivalent of someone trying to look at quantum particles with a microscope. You're not going to find the particles because they operate under a different principle. Grace would heal someone instantly without taking into account temporal factors such as time. I remember years ago when my mother sprained her ankle, I prayed for her and commanded her to get up and walk. She was instantly healed. This is Grace at work.

If people are open, Grace can reverse all evidence of "error" as one defines "error." It is written in the scriptures,

"I will overturn, overturn, overturn, it: and it shall be no more." (Ezekiel 21: 27).
An example of Grace at work is the many documented cases of near death experiences, where medical records show the individual had died but had been resurrected. I believe Grace can create resurrection at a mass level if people are open to the idea. I believe if humanity is open, we will witness people who have been killed in wars rise up as if the wars never happened. Alas, this does happen but in a reality only a few people are able to experience. People who have died are "waking up" and realising they are still alive. There is much survival evidence out there from those who have supposedly passed away.

Which leads to another question. What if the purpose of physical life, as we are experiencing it, is to demonstrate that Grace is the only law? When you experience Grace as law, you will experience life as eternal. You will not experience sickness and old age. If you experience sickness you will be instantly healed by Grace. You will live as long as you wish and then move to another reality without having to go through death. I am fascinated by the story of Ramtha who supposedly lived life and ascended without going through death. Whether it happened or not, I like the idea of ascension very much because I know it is possible.

I believe my purpose on earth right now is to live as Spirit and demonstrate that Grace is the only law.

I am Grace,

How Lovely to Be Proven Wrong!

Two days ago, a woman bus driver I've seen lots of times before came on my bus. She said hello and sat beside me. It turned out she knew the man on the other seat. She explained to me that the man was an old friend from school from over 20 years ago.

"Wow, how amazing!" I said. "I don't know anyone from school. I don't even know anyone from college."

This morning when I arrived at the library it was still closed. Instead of hanging around, I decided to check out a local cosmetics shop a friend had recommended. As I walked down this road a woman walking towards me called my name. She was an old friend from college. What a lovely surprise!

The last time I saw her was ten years ago at our graduation ceremony. She said she was now training as an occupational therapist at the local hospital just up the road. It's funny how we've been coming to the same area and never met before. We had a chat and exchanged contact details. She even gave me the email address of another college friend who now lives in Australia.

As for the shop I wanted, it was closed.

It's so good to be proven wrong about not knowing any of my college friends. Rekindling friendships is only a thought away.

With love,

Excellent Advice, Not!

On a bus journey yesterday I heard this man moaning to his friend about another passenger.

"You always get yourself into a situation, don't you?" his friend chuckled. "You'll find any excuse to pick a fight with someone."

"You must find another way to resolve issues without getting into a fight," his friend continued. "Next time you get into a situation, count to ten, then give him a slap."

This was followed by raucous laughter.

People are soooo funny!

Have a good day and stay out of mischief.


In the Know

Yesterday evening at a bus station, this woman asked me which bus goes down a particular road. I told her. She seemed agitated. She said she didn't like waiting. Was there another bus she could take? I suggested another route but that route didn't come to the bus station.

Come to think of it, maybe I should go on Mastermind and make London Buses my specialist subject. I know enough about bus routes in London, way too much information I reckon.

Anyway, it turned out the woman was waiting for the same bus I was. I said our bus would soon be ready She asked me where I was going and I said I was going into town.

"Can't you take the tube (underground)?" she said. "It's a long way to travel by bus."
"I love travelling by bus," I said.
"I know some people who don't like travelling by tube," she said. "I have a friend who gets really claustrophobic when she's on the tube."
"Yes she does. Me, I don't think of anything, I just get on the tube and go where I want to and I'm fine."
"Yes, when you don't worry about it, everything works out fine," I said.

When our bus arrived we parted company as she wanted to sit downstairs and I went upstairs.

I thought about what the woman had said: "Me, I don't think of anything, I just get on the tube and go where I want to and I'm fine."

I believe we all know that within us there is a place that is beyond fear. This is the place of "no thought" and "no thing." When you are not thinking there is nothing to be afraid of.

We are all in the know. If only we could all live with this knowledge and experience life from the space of no thought. We will always be in perfect peace.

With love,
Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Lonely Heart

Single attractive female WLTM AC/DC sado-masochist male who is into nuts and raisins for romance and more. Reply PO Box. WHIP ME8. No time wasters please.


Joke of the Day

I read the following on another board.

A man walks into the doctor's and says "Should I be worried if I think I might be a S&M necrophiliac who's into bestiality? Or am I just flogging a dead horse here?"


As Easy as Anything

If you could ask for anything what would it be?

Would you ask for wisdom, power, love, money, beauty, peace, perfection, joy?

I would ask for lots of make-up, moisturising cream, clothes, a brand new series of Sex and the City, and my very own chocolate factory.

OK, if I was really pushed I would add that I want to be all that God is.

Besides, the question of being God is a redundant one because there is nothing but God. So I would ask to know what God is.

At the risk of sounding trite, let me quote that passage from the scriptures again:

"Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46: 10)
Being still is the simplest way to be all that God is.

We have already got the silence or stillness within. To be silent we must have no thoughts.

Unconditional love is as easy as pie when you are in silence. You cannot judge someone when you are not thinking.

Having peace is as easy as abc when you are in silence. You cannot fret over something when you are not thinking?

When you are in the presence of someone who is in silence, you feel a presence which one could describe as love or peace. The silence is simply a space of no thoughts. Where there are no thoughts you are not drawn into putting experiences into categories; you are not drawn into concepts; you are simply being the no thing.

See, being God is as easy as anything.



Is life about doing or being?

Now that I am always in silence, everything I do is from the silence.

The words that I am typing now are emerging from the silence, working through this body and being transferred on to the computer screen.

I honestly don't know the difference now between being and doing, there is only the silence.

DoBeDoBeDo, DoBeDoDoBeDoBeBeDo.



Tuesday, December 13, 2005

A New Phase

I've been putting all my articles in order. They're now all done for Vector8 Journals and The One in All. I will continue to update the list for this blog as and when.

It's now making a lot of sense why I've produced these blogs.

A while back I went into a retreat. I had received the "call" to be Self. It was also time to integrate the wisdom I had accumulated and see how they related to who I was being. So I spent time meditating and contemplating truth. I ended up filling a whole book with my thoughts. For a few weeks, I kept hearing this loud flute-like sound in my head that no one else could hear, which drove me bonkers. I continued to meditate and one day the sound disappeared and I was left with profound silence.

Just before I finished the retreat, I felt this Presence, a being of Light that I believe to be my Real Self. The Presence told me to go into the world and share my experiences with others.

This is what I have been doing. The articles in Vector8 Journals represent experiences from the perspective of Mind. I am trying to make sense of all the wisdom I have accrued and see how they relate to who I am. The best way to know if I've fully integrated this "wisdom" is to test them in life experiences. Then I had to let go all wisdom and trust in my own vision of the One. Thus, articles in the The One in All represent my perspective of the One.

Though I have different experiences, there is a core centre, my Real Self, that is unaffected by my human experiences. Self is always the same. As Self, I view the world from the place of silence.

I feel it's now time to take a rest and just be from Silence.

I look forward to sharing more experiences from the place of Silence.

With love,

Practising Transparency - Dissolving Programmes

In the film, Groundhog Day, Phil (played by Bill Murray) is stuck on Groundhog Day that keeps repeating itself over and over again. Even after committing suicide, he wakes up on the same day. Phil decides to use the time to get to know humanity. Only when he falls in love is he released from that day.

In the ordinary reality of thoughts and appearances, we are constantly putting experiences into boxes and categories. That's what the mind does. You end up linking thoughts with like-thoughts, coming to conclusions etc. Mind is also the realm of cause/effect. When someone says something, mind immediately thinks of consequences. You think "Doesn't she realise that what she's just said will lead her to have such an experience?" You end up judging someone thus adding more weight to their thoughts.

On the other hand, when I practise transparency by being in silence no matter what, silence dissolves the power of words and thoughts. Put another way, words and thoughts are like reading a film script where the words are just words. It is actors emotions that bring the script to life. In silence, words and thoughts revert to their original intent which is formlessness. So let's say someone is saying stuff that most people consider to be offensive, when I listen in silence, I find the words have no impact, and no power.

I have also noticed that my body speaks a lot in thought forms that we collectively define as pain. For instance, when I've been sitting in one position for a long time, my neck has something to say about that. What I do is I listen in silence and it soon passes away.

I believe we are only experiencing the one "Groundhog Day," which is going round and round like a revolving door. We've all gone through the human programming where we've been taught to rely on our senses. Each "day" gives us the opportunity to be the One Self. When you are the Self in every circumstance, you are released from the human programme.

With love,

Related article: Practising Transparency
Monday, December 12, 2005

What You Believe is Possible is What is Possible for You

Last night my mother and I watched the evangelist, Peter Popoff on television; which has people giving testimonies about healing and financial miracles they have received after they using the miracle spring water.

"I'm really puzzled about something."I said to mum. "If these people are having healing miracles and financial deliverance, how come God isn't making them completely whole?"

"What do you mean?" mum said.

"I mean, how come they still look old. Couldn't they ask God for their youth to be restored? Is this the best God can do?"

"I don't think these people think the way you do," mum said, "otherwise, religious leaders wouldn't age and die."

"I guess most Christians are so focused on life after death, it doesn't occur to them that they can have that life now."

Mum agreed.

Call me blinkered, but why would I want to wait for life when I can have the fullness of life now? According to the scriptures, Jesus says

"I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." (John 10: 10)
I would have thought this means abundant life now, which includes radiant health, being ageless, and just living life to the full now, not having to wait till some future time.

The way I see it, there is no death, there is only life. I am 100% having life right here and right now. When I am no longer in form I am formless light, which is still eternal life.

It seems to me that what we believe is possible is what we have as our experiences. As I am only focused on living life now, it is in my own best interest to open myself up to all possible realities now. God, who can dissolve a "terminal disease" in an instant, can surely make one look and feel ageless.

All things are possible NOW.


God Will Fix It

I recently asked my friend, Ben, to produce a fractal which reflects my Real Self that is already perfect, therefore, nothing can be added to or taken away from perfection. He promised me he would.

When I received the fractal I tried to post it on my blog. While it appeared on the profile page it didn't appear on the web page. I thought it was a source problem and asked Ben for advice. I tried uploading the picture from Ben's source but it still wouldn't appear on the web page.

Next, I got in contact with the Blogger Helpdesk who haven't got back to me as yet.

Yesterday, I sent an email to Ben thanking him again for his help. Though the problem wasn't yet resolved, I wrote:

"Not to worry; God who produced the fractal as Ben Gilberti will surely find a way for the fractal to appear on my web page." :-)
I'm pleased to announce God has sorted the problem out but in another way. I was inspired to check out a friend's blog called The Kahdoosch Bag and compare his html codes with mine. I soon saw there were some codes missing from mine that were preventing the fractal from appearing on my web page. I soon fixed it. In other words, God fixed it as me.

Thank you dear friends for all your help.

With love,

Related articles: We are Source Codes
Saturday, December 10, 2005

Making Something Out of Nothing

Last Wednesday, a new reality television show started on Channel 4 called Space Cadets. It's about twelve ordinary members of the public who have been recruited to train as space cadets. A few of them will spend time orbiting space. The cadets are flown to Russia to have their space training.

What the cadets don't realise is they are in a "disused military base" in Suffolk in the UK. The television company has gone to great lengths to make the training ground look and feel like Russia. These cadets seriously believe they are now in Russia and being trained to go to space.

In a twist to the tale, not all the cadets are ignorant of their predicament; three of them are actors.

In last night's programme, their Russian physical instructor, Val, put the cadets through rigorous exercises. A few of the actors came into the diary room to complain that they hadn't expected their jobs to be this hard. One actor got sick after and he was withdrawn from the programme. All that pain for nothing.

They also showed the cadets having lectures about space travel. Part of what they were being taught was fact, the rest was bogus! The students were frantically taking notes while one actor was trying hard not to laugh. The cadets even took part in a communication role play. All for nothing.

The idea is only four of them will be selected to orbit space. The cadets, not in the know, are going to try to do all they can to be selected. All that competitiveness for nothing.

While the game seems like a cruel hoax, I believe it is not that different from our predicament here on Earth. When I think of how much time I've spent learning how to be a human, like what to eat and what not to eat, and it's all been for nothing. Now I'm letting go of everything I thought I knew so I can be empty and be who I really am. How ironic!

I have also realised that though I appear to be on Earth, I have never left my real home in Spirit. I feel like one of the actors in the know pretending to go through the human rituals in order not to give myself away.

I believe Space Cadets is a brilliant Masterclass for the human condition; the art of making something out of nothing.

It's only TV but I love it.


Related articles: Of Beliefs and Chasing Tails; Mind-Meld

Practising Transparency

"The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted...Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46: 6; 10)
Yesterday on my bus home, I heard several people speaking on their mobile phones at the same time. One woman was sitting behind me speaking in Polish. Did I get worked up about how loud her voice was? No. I was very grateful to all of them to enable me to practise transparency.

What do I mean by practising transparency? Being transparent means being in silence no matter what?

I see all forms and experiences as thought forms. In other words, people, animals, plants, buildings, the weather, mobile phones, words, thoughts, emotions, everything, are all thought forms. When I practise transparency I am like a sieve that lets all thoughts permeate through. Silence dissolves thoughts into silence.

Another way to define transparency is acceptance. Only when I am being in silence can I accept without resisting or reacting to an experience or thought form.

Transparency could be applied to any situation you don't wish to experience as form.

Instead of complaining how cold or hot the weather is, I remain in silence and let the thought forms dissolve into silence. Then, I am neither hot nor cold.

I practise transparency when I am watching the news or a TV programme I don't wish to take on board.

I practise transparency to dissolve thought forms of pain.

Of course, when I wish to have an experience, I give the thought form my attention. As you can see, I made myself transparent to mobile phone users on the bus. Now I am giving that same experience my attention as a way to practise transparency.

Modern life is a great opportunity to practise transparency. I can either see people as irritating and "pressing my buttons" or I can be grateful to them for allowing me to practise transparency.

When I am practising transparency I am being the One in all.

With love,

Related article: Practising Transparency - Dissolving Programmes