Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Expectations

Yesterday, I received an email from a friend who reads my blog in response to a recent post where I have listed requirements I expect my my life partner to have. He wrote:

"But then I couldn't understand why ur life partner should be lot of fun, shld always have a lovely smile and should be atleast 6''feet tall. I had a bigger list than urs, but then now I feel, its possible to love anybody in any form that they are in. Take any man, let him be tall or short, let him be intelligent or let him be dull headed, let him be quick and witty or let him be slow and stupid, let him be superstitious or let him be questioning every little thing in life. If for a moment, we can drop our judgements and opinions, our likes and dislikes, suddenly we will start feeling that, we don;t exist anymore. It would become so simple to become the other, take their shape of mind, start liking all that they like, start disliking all that they dislike, we would start seeing the world in their view point. The moment this happens, its so easy to be in love with that person. So I think its easy to love anybody and its easy to live with anybody under the same roof for any number of years."
My response was:

"I note your comments about my ideal partner and I appreciate where you're coming from. You are saying I'm putting conditions on my partner. I would also say you're putting conditions on what kind of man I should want in my life. As friends people can be anything, but as my partner, I have a preference. Similarly, I can eat all types of food with no thought of what's in them I have foods I prefer to eat. So I prefer a man that is tall, fun, likes to play and realises that life is a game. I prefer men I feel attraction for and that's the way it is. It's my choice and I'm being true to myself. Of course, I expect him to be Real i.e. he should know that he is Spirit Man and not fall under the illusion of sickness, aging and death.

"I don't have to search for him I just know he does exist. If he didn't I wouldn't have had the thought in the first place. If you can think it, it exists."
I wonder what would happen if I wrote a list of foods I would love to experience or the types of clothes I would love to wear. I doubt if anyone would bat an eyelid. But when it comes to being very specific about relationships there is a judgment. I shouldn't have a choice because I am Divine Love who loves all equally, therefore, I shouldn't have special relationships. Says who? Who makes up the rules about how I should be?

That's the problem with expectations of spirituality. One can build up an idea of what it means to be spiritual or how one should be.

I want to make it clear right now that while I acknowledge there is only One in all, I am also very much aware that I am here to experience life as me. An intimate relationship is one way of expressing who I am, with a man that meets with my personal tastes; and that includes being tall, slim, clean-shaven and attractive. And yes, I prefer having relationships with men. I also expect my partner to be real; for my definition of "real" see Yo-Yos and Drama Queens.

I have written elsewhere that my personal experiences are based on my understanding of the One. I do not expect anyone to take my experiences as gospel truth. Let me reiterate that I am not a spiritual teacher or guru. If readers find my experiences useful, that's good; but we must all find out what works for ourselves.

Earlier today I received an email from another friend who also reads my blog. He wrote:

"When did you got enlightenment I mean date of the enlightenment!"
My response to him was:

"I don't do dates, there is no time.

"I have always been Self; as are you, always Self."
What is enlightenment anyway? I get insights all the time about ways of being and I experience and write about them. I have an idea of what God/Self means for me. All I know is that God is everywhere present yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever; and I live with this belief. I have no idea whether this constitutes enlightenment, not do I care about enlightenment.

I want to thank both of my friends for giving me this opportunity to be true to myself.

All the very best to all.

With love,
Enocia

Related articles: Maps; Follow Me; Preconceived Ideas of Spirituality; Be True to Yourself